The Repetition Exercise is more than the sum of its parts. It has many exciting possibilities beyond the simple observation exercise at its core. Try adding a point of view to the observation, ‘You’re leaning back in your chair.’ You could like what you were observing (you might find it seductive or funny) or find it upsetting (perhaps that person doesn’t want to be close to you).
If you reduce the many options available to you in the moment to a 50/50 choice (love it/hate it), you can begin to practice forging strong points of view in the moment. Forcing yourself to hold an extreme point of view on an observation helps stoke the fire between partners. Asking yourself ‘Do they get it?’ after every repeat will also encourage you to build that point of view further, especially if your partner is only going to accept a 100 per cent response. This creates conflict, raises stakes and builds an emotional connection which will surprise both of you.